Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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