Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I need to align my fucking chakras
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
