awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize