Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Randomize
