We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
