they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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