Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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