butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
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