I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
