What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize