Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
