I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
