AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
