Your face is a jimmy john
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
