He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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