I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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