why didn't you poke me back
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
