If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize