R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We named our party play list daddy issues
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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