Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
