You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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