margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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