I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize