And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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