get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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