No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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