Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
