Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
its not stalking. its research.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize