remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize