I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
