But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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