I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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