people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
