ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
