i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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