the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
im six kinds of drunk right now
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
