He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize