I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
