It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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