yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
