She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
