Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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