just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize