...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
not ubering you a puppy
Randomize
