I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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