Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Slut skills are useful in every country.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
