Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
