i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
