the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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