First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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