There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
