yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
