I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
You can't motorboat a personality
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
no you cant smoke seaweed
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
