I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
