in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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