Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
