its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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