am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i just google imaged poop.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
