I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
