everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
