doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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