I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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