True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
