Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
