the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
