"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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