i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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