At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
