i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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