it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
He passed out mid-signature
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
